People often plan their life around their dreams. You make decisions based on how it affects the accomplishment of your plans. Though you don’t expect life to be perfect, you were able to function well with your eyes set on a goal. You dealt with the snags along your path to achieve your goals faster. There’s no need to start your life over because you have it all figured out.
Or so you thought. That is until Life told you, “I have other plans for you, girl!” Which could happen in two ways:
Everything is Great? Think again.
Sometimes, when everything is going well, an event or situation will force you to start your life over. Like finding out that your husband or boyfriend had been cheating on you. Or breaking up with your long-time partner. It could also be in the form of the unfortunate event of losing a close family member or loved one. Career-wise, when you’re fired from your job. These situations push you in a corner that doesn’t allow you to decide whether you want it or not. It’s where it happened. Deal with it. Then, start over.
Life is Great, But What If…
The realization of how your life is doing often comes from an innocent question. “Are you happy?” The sincerity and depth of your answer would depend on who asked. More often than not, you would smile and answer, “Yes, of course.” For some, you would add, “What’s not to be happy about?” And yet when you come home that night, sleep didn’t come easy. You lie awake pondering, searching the deepest corners of your heart, and asking, “Am I REALLY happy?” The question was simple but the real answer eludes you. The thought plagues you for days, weeks, or even months.
Then, one day you will admit to yourself that you have been stuck in your comfort zone. That would be the day you will start considering the what-ifs. Yes, you are in a familiar situation. Yes, you weathered through the storms there. But are you happy there? Does your comfort zone help you grow? What if you can grow more? What if you can be happier?
While you would answer no, you are also scared to step out of your safe place. You will try to ignore the nagging feeling. Until you can’t. Little by little, the pieces will unravel until you say, “This isn’t going to work anymore. I need to start over.”
How to Start Your Life Over?
After realizing that life has other plans for you, you’ve taken the most crucial step – Making the decision. You wanted to start your life over, but how? Here are five steps on how to start your life over with positivism:
Accept the Past
Accept that things happened for a reason. The people you meet meant to be part of your life. The things you experience happened to teach you something.
Every person you meet is a blessing and in every encounter that you have, there’s a lesson to be learned.
Once you’ve accepted the fact that the past happened, then your healing can begin. There is nothing you can do to change it. Unless you have the power to travel back in time, stop beating yourself up. Show yourself some self-love and stop reliving the past. Take the nuggets of wisdom from every situation but leave the past where it belongs.
If you’ve experienced losing a loved one, you know that moving on doesn’t happen overnight. You carry the scars from that experience for a long time. There would be times you would blame yourself for things that were not your fault. There would be days when you’re doing okay and you shower yourself with self-love. Then come the days when you wallow in your self-pity and wish you could go back to the past. Those are all part of moving on.
Take it one day at a time and remember that you are a work in progress – Your healing, your life, and your future. Do not get frustrated with your slow progress. Moving on doesn’t follow a linear process or a timetable. We heal and move forward in our pace and time.
Welcome Change and Explore
Now that you have decided to start your life over, don’t go back to your old habits. Welcome the changes that are happening in your life. Look for the positive side of every opportunity that presents itself. Then, decide whether that’s for you or not. Do not shot down an idea because it’s unfamiliar. Open yourself up to new opportunities, new connections, new knowledge, and new relationships. Broaden your horizon by traveling and trying new things.
Communicate with God
For some, faith is only remembered where you’re in the darkest stage of your life. When life seemed hopeless and empty. As you start over, establish your connection with God, Allah, or whatever you call Him. Pray, meditate, or talk to Him. Ask him for guidance, enlightenment, or help. Most of all, thank Him. Cultivate the habit of gratefulness and never forget to say “Thank you”.
Loss has a way of shifting one’s perspective and redefining priorities. What used to matter before doesn’t belong to the top priorities now. Sometimes, it makes you realize that you’re loving people the wrong way. You were demanding love and affection that you cannot give to yourself.
So, in your chance to start over, learn the value of self-love. It isn’t about selfishness. It’s about embracing both your flaws and strengths. It’s about taking a little bit of time from your day to reestablish connection and take care of yourself. Download our 7-day self-care habit to get you started on your self-love journey.
It can be hard to start your life over positively after a breakup or a loss. Whether you were forced into it or you’ve decided to take the plunge doesn’t matter. The important thing is you’re at the starting line and a new journey is about to begin. Live in the now and face each day with positivism.