Going out on a first date is awkward, and will always be. but that doesn’t mean you’ll screw it up. If you’re a home-buddy like me, I’m sure the idea of meeting new people romantically can be a bit nerve-wracking. Not only do you need to go through all that hassle of dressing up, but you also have to worry about being in good condition physically and mentally.
Did I put too much make-up?
What if he finds me boring?
Is it okay to talk about past relationships?
I’m sure one or two of these questions are juggling like balls inside your head. Take a breath, sister. Dating is like tango, it takes two to make it work. But in case you’ll need something to put your mind at ease, here are six no-bullshit advice on how not to screw up your first date.
1. Comfort comes first
Dress to impress – this is without a doubt, the most common advice from dating gurus. I wouldn’t say this is a bad guide to follow through. Although, substantial attraction isn’t the only thing you must pour your efforts in. Imagine going on a date wearing a turtle-neck dress in the middle of a hot sunny day. Humidity mixing with anxiety and excitement, does that sound like a good combination? Definitely not!
If you’re comfortable wearing fancy dresses, I’d say go for it. As they always say,
“If you got it, you gotta flaunt it”.
All I’m saying is you must be aware of your choices no matter how tiny detail it may seem. There’s no stopping that skin-tight outfit in sabotaging you and ripping off in broad daylight while you’re trying hard to fake a laugh at your date’s embarrassing dad jokes. Of course, that’s just a worst-case scenario. But there’s no harm checking out nice clothes that you can feel comfty in, if you care not to screw up your first date. This is why I think choosing what to wear on a first date is one, if not most, important factors to consider.
Impressing and expressing should always go hand-in-hand. Going on date means you want to acquaint yourself with the person on the other side of the table. There’s a level of comfort you have to reach to say that it’s a successful first date. At the end of the day, you’ll have to ask yourself:
Were you able to convey yourself the way you wanted to?
2. Arrive on time
Let’s put an emphasis on this next piece of advice.
Arrive. On. Time.
Ladies, please never ever be late without a valid reason. Forget about the element of surprise or arriving in style what-nots antics. It doesn’t make you more desirable nor attractive. If you ask me, arriving late is straight-up being rude.
Not because I’m a gal and I don’t deserve to wait, but because as a young professional I value my time.
I mean, who doesn’t? Understand that some people need extra courage to go on dates. Reciprocating their efforts will show your sincerity. Plus, being late can totally ruin the mood and definitely not the right way to hit off the first meeting. Before you know it, your chance for a second date is gone.
3. Be present
Don’t be distracted. You’re worried and it seems like nothing is going according to your plan – we all get that. Doing something for the first time will give you that kind of feeling.
Tell you what, it’s completely normal.
Even so, it’s not an excuse not to focus on your date. No matter what the circumstances are, you agreed to meet and spend time with this person. Pay attention and you’ll find it fascinating how simple it is to get to know someone by just listening to what they have to say.
4. Put some walls down
One of the things I regret after my first date was being too cautious. It’s not that being careful is not a good idea, but having too many walls up can make you appear restricted.
I know many would argue and say that you don’t need to lower your standards to find someone. Yes, I also live by that statement. But loosen up a bit.
It’s not a job interview.
Besides, you’re there because you want to welcome someone new in your life. How can love come in when you’re hiding behind closed doors? First dates can be a gamble – you can’t expect to take some if you’re not willing to give some.
5. Don’t lay down ALL your cards on your first date
When you feel like it’s going well, that’s when you have to be alert.
It’s good to end the charade while you’re winning than wounding up as a loser for taking up too many chances. You can be an open book but not with a bright pink highlighter.
The wonders of getting to know each other is a process. It can’t happen in a day.
- Take it slow, you don’t need to give everything at once.
- Give an air of mystery, don’t scatter your emotions too early or you’ll freak him out. Sometimes, waiting for the right timing to say something can end up with better results.
- Weigh how your date is going. No matter how much you like the guy, being perceived as desperate is a big no-no.
6. Be yourself and have fun!
Last but definitely not least, show your truest self.
The first date is a step forward in finding a partner. To be able to build its foundation, the honesty from both ends is greatly needed. Faking it will just emerge as a problem in the near future.
So, why not try to be real now?
While there’s a lot of things to remember on this list, don’t forget to have fun. Meeting someone new and being outside of your comfort zone is worth the celebration. The outcome is not always in our hands, even a boat needs two oars to row a boat and survive the waves.
There’s no guarantee that you will not screw up your first date, and that’s the beauty of firsts – you have to take the risk. Whether it ends up with a kiss or not, cheers for your courage and efforts. On your next date, keep these tips in mind and see how things will go.